What happened to my year?

ummmmm.....sooooooo......in 10 minutes it will be the last day of the year. This begs the question: what the hell did I do with this year???? Let's recap-

Work sucked bad at the beginning, I ended up crying during inventory because I was so tired and stressed.
Collin got out of the Navy.
My boss got fired and I got an even better boss.
I got a raise.
Jack learned how to say a ton of stuff (including swear words).
We moved into a cool house.
I lost weight.
I spent too much money.
I got to fly to Phoenix and visit the fam.
My brother got engaged and knocked up his fiancee.
Ann came to visit.
I spent too much time watching TV and not enough time reading.


I think that's it. Not very exciting. I really hope that next year is better. Really, truly it's gotta be better, right?

I love YOO!

for starters i am so excited to see ann!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's been too long. now the rest of you need to get your collective asses out here to see me. we will all don flannel shirts and protest something and then listen to Nirvana and weep.

Anyhow, i helped this guy yesterday with a return at work and he had paid cash so I had to see his ID to give hime cash back. He had his wife and 2 daughters with him and all of their passports. He was Korean and when I had to type in his name I noticed his last name was Yoo. I really wanted to spazz out and tell him that one of my best friends has the same last name but he seriously did not speak any English and I didn't want to freak him out.

So long story short I love Ann and anyone named Yoo is alright in my book! I can't wait for January 26!!!!

white trash xmas

i hope that you all had a merry xmas. here's what i did:

pilates.
colored my hair.
ate Jack in the Box because we were planning on going to walmart on christmas to get food because we figured they would be open because they are evil, but they weren't and we had nothing to eat at home.
watched Christmas Vacation


the end

Like Martha Stewart on PCP

Today has been a very full day. I got up at 8 and watched cartoons with Jack. Then I exercised for 30 minutes before showering and getting ready. We went to a couple places (post office, grocery store, dollar store, coffee shack) before coming back home. Collin cleaned the kitchen and I cleaned the living room and we started to cook lunch. After lunch I made the frosting for the cookies that I baked yesterday. That's right, I made cookies and frosting from SCRATCH!! Then I frosted the cookies and made another double batch of cookies dough which is in the fridge right now and I will be baking more cookies once Jack goes to bed. I then put the cookies into the decorative cookies tins that I got and packed them up with my handmade Christmas cards and had Collin drop them off at my store.

I am a good cook, but a messy one. So I had to clean the kitchen, for the second time today. I'm gonna have to clean it again later after I make more cookies and frosting. Then I cleaned my hamster's cage (which is something I loathe), and then took out the Spot Shot cleaner and got some stains out of the carpet. I still have 3 hours until Jack goes to bed. I'm so bored. I feel bad but it's dark out already and raining and cold. I would take him to the mall but i'm broke and then i will want to buy stuff that i can't and it's a big waste of gas to go all the way up there.

So i'm just gonna sit here and watch Food Network and listen to Jack cry because he keeps jumping around and hurting himself. He can say the word "Spiderman" but can't figure out that if you jump off the couch you will hit the coffee table and it will hurt.

Terrible 2s

Jack is a pretty good 2 year old. He's only had a few full-on tantrums but he does get whiny and bratty when he wants something and we won't give it to him. So here's the question: Can adults have tantrums too? What if there's something that I really want but I can't have it? Can I stomp my feet and swing my arms and scream and whine? I really wish I could. It might make me feel better.

We are all cliches

I don't know who these people are but they seemed fitting for this post.

The other morning I stopped by the Starbucks in my mall before going to the bank to get change and I noticed this guy, probably about my same age and he's sitting at a table reading and drinking coffee. This is pretty unusual since our mall is so busy that our Starbucks doesn't really warrant "hanging out" so I began to stare at him. Then I noticed his green apron tossed aside on the table and it dawned on my that he worked there and was probably on a break. Then I scoffed at what I saw. He was such a stereotype. He had on a knitted hat with earflaps and was reading a very large book but had J.D. Salinger's 9 Stories sitting on the edge of the table.

I though, "Ugh, that's so typical, of course a guy like that would be reading Salinger. What a weiner, try to be a bit unique dude. Your soul is probably tortured because you are all smart and liberal and you are working at Starbucks and you feel conflicted about it. Lame."

I got my double tall soy latte and sauntered out the door. As I walked to my car I saw my reflection in the front of another store. I, at that moment, was wearing a hat with earflaps, was drinking coffee, had felt conflicted when Starbucks hired me as management (right before I started at CK) and had read 9 Stories and loved it so much that my old email address was based on a story from it. DAMMIT!!! I could've been this guy's girlfriend.

Then I realized I'm a judgemental, stereotypical, idiot. And I'm corny. And I look like a moron half the time.

Christmas is dead.

We are finally getting a little busier at work but not as busy as I would think considering xmas is less than a week away. We were super slow the first 3 weeks of December. It's been weird and I've decided that either people don't celebrate xmas anymore or everyone has turned to procrastination. I used to wish that people would buy less crap at this time of year but now that these consumers pay my salary I wish they would realize that their relatives will hate them unless they purchase some crap. So "Buy My Book" and get out there and shop, or Jesus will never forgive you.

seriously awesome

I'm hoping that Collin and Chris dress up as them for Halloween next year.

for those about to rock--i salute you

someday i will rock like kim.

so our band is not quite in full swing but it's getting there. i had a breakthrough moment today when i realized that i didn't have to be bashful in front of Collin and Chris and I should just fuck around and try to figure out what the hell I'm doing and not worry about looking like a fool. I even made up 2 basslines on my own today. we still don't have one solid song but we have the beginnings to 2. at some point we will have a full song, i'm sure. i'm so excited to finally learn an instrument and really want to learn it and not just do it because I have to for school or something.

I'm gonna make it after all..........

I have been doing sooooooooo well with The Hotness. I can't even begin to tell you. We've been doing it for probably 2 weeks now and I've not had a single slip up. No crazy late night binging on nachos, i've even switched to light beer and vodka with club soda instead of regular beer and wine. I've been going jogging with Chris and doing my Crunch Gym fat buring pilates DVD on a regualr basis. i've been eating more fruits and veggies and i feel much better. the best part is that i don't even want the unhealthy stuff anymore. it's like i don't want to undo all of my hard work.

it's so strange because when i quit doing something bad i can't plan it. whenever i planned to quit smoking i would relapse eventually. then one day i just started to think about how i didn't want to smell bad like the girl i worked with who would come back from her smoke break and i would want to gag. so i just stopped bringing my cigarettes to work and then i would only smoke at night when i got home and within a few weeks i was completely done smoking.

i will keep you all updated on the progress and how my mom belly keeps shrinking away!!!! Hooray, no mom pants just yet.

I may be undead

in the winter it becomes very clear to me that i have no blood circulation. When I go outside my feet get cold and not just kind of cold, more like frozen cold. Here's the problem: they don't warm up ever. Seriously, it's cragy and it's been like this for as long as i can remember. I may be a creature of the night.

what is wrong with canadians???

Kelsey, you are excluded from this rant.

so today i had this couple bugging my cashier and I about the fact that we didn't take Canadian cash. They weren't really yelling or anything, just stunned. They honestly didn't understand why we didn't take it. I politely informed them that almost every store in the mall wouldn't accept Canadian cash but that we did take Canadian credit and debit. And the guy looks right at me and says, "But why won't you take Canadian cash??"

Here is what I would've said if I wanted to get fired:

"Because the last time I checked we were in AMERICA YOU STUPID FUCKING RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT, DRIVIN' 3 HOURS TO BUY SOME GODDAMED PANTS AND A SHIRT!!!!"

But here is what I actually said:

"Because it would be too inconvenient."

If these happy-go-lucky bastards didn't pay my salary I would stab them in the throat.

I can't believe this is my boss.

My boss is the one with the black hair.

In a nutshell we went to Walmart at midnight on monday night/tuesday morn to buy the Pirates of the Carribean movie. I have never even seen it and my boss bought my copy, but we were drunk and in full garb and we got this guy named Steven who worked there to say "Attention Walmart shoppers...HUZZAH!!!" over the PA system. it freakin rocked.

Southern Luvin'

I don't know how many of you watch the Food Network but I'm pretty obsessed with it. I particulary love Paula Deen. For those of you not familiar with her, she's this hilarious woman from Savannah, Georgia who is an awesome cook. Half the time the stuff she's making is stuff that I can't even eat (southerners eat lots of meat) but I love to watch her cook. Even more I love to listen to her talk. She has the greatest accent ever! I can't even describe it, it's smooth like butter. Honestly you much watch her. This woman could talk me into going to church with her, I swear. She might even convince me to eat a pot roast.

Cool Auntie E

I talked to my brother earlier today and for those of you who don't already know, he's getting married in February. Well he told me that his fiancee Maricela, is preggers. I'm pretty shocked, and scared for them but I'm excited too. I am just nervous because I don't think they will be able to have the wedding that they want and they aren't even living together right now. my brother is trying to find a better paying job. It's just a lot going on all at one time. I'm sure in the end it will all work out. plus they will have the benefit of having people near them that can watch the baby for free. that's a luxury we haven't had.

Anyhow, I am going to be the best Aunt ever, just for the record.

The Hotness

I must say I am very proud of myself! I am on day 3 of The Hotness. Just like Ann has The Duchess, Chris and I have The Hotness. This is what we are calling our new diet and exercise regimen. Although we are eating healthier foods we are mostly just eating less. We used to pig out. We would usually get a dozen donuts every week and Chris would eat fast food everyday. Although Collin and I usually make dinner, we would eat a ton of food still. Last night my dinner was steamed green beans with a dab of soy margarine. I did have a beer but considering I usually have 1 beer every night it wasn't bad because it was my only beer in 3 days. Today a coworker and I made enchiladas and instead of having 4 I only had 2. I will probably have a very light dinner as well. maybe vegetable soup or something. Here's the best part of the whole thing:

Chris and I jogged at 3 AM today for about 20 minutes!!!!! We ran 5 blocks east, 2 blocks south, and then across and back up. It was so cold outside (barely above freezing) and it felt like there were shards of glass in my lungs. As soon as I got home I had some water and went right back to sleep. It actually wasn't that bad. I felt really good when I was done, and was very proud of myself. I think the last time I really exercised was a year or a year and a half ago.

So give it a couple months and I plan on being one size smaller at my work. I have decided to stop buying clothes until then. I will be super hot, once again!!!