Bring on the Cragy

it's not like my real dad was Eddie Vedder...

Every winter here I go a little nutty. I start to get kind of depressed/overly introspective and just generally cragy. I over analyse everything and I become obsessed with pointless crap. This is why we had grunge people, I can tell you that with 100% certainty.

Have you ever had a dream that is so real that it freaks you out??? Especially if that dream involves you doing something that you absolutely wouldn't do in real life??? On Monday night I had a very vivid dream. I won't say what it was about but I've been feeling guilty about it ever since. Were my actions in this dream a reflection of some deep desire that I am in denial of? Or are dreams totally random and I should just stop thinking about it? I feel like a weirdo.

Me, Collin and Chris are starting a band. It is either going to be called Fleets to Norway or Pussy Control. I am learning to play bass. So far I know how to play God Save the Queen by the Sex Pistols and Dramamine by Modest Mouse. It's actually not that hard, I just have to practice more and get used to it. Collin plays guitar and Chris play drums.

I told them that as the only female in the band I would get hot. I said I would become as hot as the 3 hot Donnas. The bass player doesn't count. So yesterday I ate about a fourth of what I usually do. I might exercise today as well. I know people usually start transformations at the beginning of the week but for some reason I decided to start right in the middle. This made some of my coworkers skeptical as to how long I would last but day 1 went well and I'm feeling confident about it. So when my band is good enough, expect to see us at a bar near you.

Freak Ass Snow

This week has been bizarre. It keeps snowing and freezing and it's screwing up work. No one knows if we can or should close early/open late. It's been so slow that I want to shoot myself. Luckily I have 3 days off this week because i get a comp day from the holiday last week. I am going to finish up my christmas cards and pick up a few more gifts (I really hate buying obligitory gifts) and then I"m done with Christmas. Then I need to mail out some stuff to my family. This is why I really don't like christmas. I feel obligated to go out and spend money that i don't really have on people i otherwise wouldn't be buying things for. I will never make Jack do that. He also won't have stepsiblings either.

a white pre-xmas

it snowed today. and the ground and my car are covered. i really hope that the mall is closed tomorrow. i could use a day off. the navy already told chris they don't have to go in. and they never do that so i sincerely hope that the canadians know what is good for them and stay home.

Holy Black Friday!!!

This is the first time I have ever been working in retail on Black Friday. If you don't know about Black Friday you live under a rock and probably don't have internet access anyway so I won't bother explaining it. All I know is that people are absolutely insane. Tiemann (one of my peeps) and I got to our store at 10:45 on Thanksgiving. We didn't open until midnight and the line at Coach was about 50 deep. By the time they opened there were probably about 200 people waiting to get in. At coach they only allow so many people in at once so all day long there was a line to get in. and the sale was only an extra 20% off. that's not that great to stand outside in the middle of the night when it is 15 degrees. it was hard for my employees to even get into our store before we opened. Customers were lurking outside and thought they were shoppers cutting in line. I had to crack the door just a bit to let them in because i was afraid the crowds were going to run inside.

even today we were super busy and i'm sure we will be busy tomorrow. there were no crazy fistfights or anything. it actually went really smooth at our store. i just can't believe that so many people want the shop in the middle of the night. no thanks.

tofurkey day

I didn't actually eat tofurkey this year. i had one last year and it was rubbery and salty, like your balls. i did have a lot of yummy food though.

I think this thanksgiving was my best yet. I have had quite a few interesting thanksgivings though. Last year it took Tamara about 5 or 6 hours to come see me and we were only on the other side of puget sound. they year before that I had just had jack and my mom and collin cooked while i laid on the couch all loopy on painkillers. In college Shirl and I went to Philly with Jeff and his mom called her Sandy. This wouldn't have been so bad except that they were dating at the time and we were pretty sure that she didn't like Shirl. We also had to listen to radio Disney because it was the only station Jeff could get in his car.

This Thanksgiving was different because we went to the house of a couple that we are friends with and we had a potluck thanksgiving. Our friends Mia and Andy had us over and her sister came too. They have a son who is 2 months older than Jack and her sister had 2 kids too. All of the kids played while we talked. it's funny to realize that soon Jack will be relegated to a Kiddie Table. Jack ate about an entire plate of cranberry sauce and I had 3 different potato dishes that were all very carb filled and delicious.

it's pretty cool that as people spread out from their parents they create their own new families. although collin and jack and I are a family we don't have any family members around. but Chris is essentially part of our family and being at Thanksgiving it didn't feel like we were intruding, but rather that we were an extension of their family. It was really nice.

Where do I begin???

thank you for bein' a friend.

Wow, i'm whelmed.

I appreciate the support with the Duchess. Working out will be my biggest struggle because it is absolutely gross out this time of year and it's hard to work out at home because my roommate and Collin probably don't want to watch me doing squats in the living room when they could be watching the history channel. But I will have to work it out.

Kevin, I have a hard time picturing you swimming at the Y. Do they let you smoke while doing laps?

On another note I am feeling very loved today! I had a long, stressful, tiring day at work (we are gearing up for black friday and i feel like i'm running a marathon) and then i got home and read ann's blog and now i am very happy. My birthday always falls near Thanksgiving and I guess that's good because it helps me reflect on what I am always the most thankful for. I am very lucky to have the greatest friends on the planet!!! I shall give you all the summary, and it's long, so bear with me.

I met Pete, Safin and Jeff the first day of college. actually, the first hours at college. Sarah won me over with the fact that she was wearing a Beastie Boys tshirt and got me drunk that night on the rum she smuggled in. pete and jeff made me laugh and i think we even met reese that night, and we went "gambling" at that stupid casino night thing. I already knew Alli from high school and it seems so odd that we are all so close and that reese and alli live together now (how strange how fate works). i love the fact that we are all friends still and even though we don't talk often,when we do it feels like I just saw them yesterday.

I met Ann and Kevin through pete and i thought ann hated me at first. it turns out her chinky eyes are very off-putting and makes it look like she's scowling when she's really not. once i got to know ann i loved her! me, her, pete and kevin would hang out for hours at rodrigues-laughing, drinking coffee, chain smoking, thinking of porn titles and plotting our vegas excursion. I also met jenny at this time and we would practically live at kevin's apartment (and later star in our very own Behind the Summer).

ann became my roomie after safin and i participated in the Asian Exchange Program. ann and i would sit in our room and she would film my "gooch confessionals" and we would play "Jumpin'" and "could Jew only take my picture" on repeat. she would feed me pancakes at 3 am and I would yell at her for making us keep the window open in the winter, causing icicles to form on the window and me to freeze my ass off while i slept. the last time i saw ann she got to see Jack and unfortunately he was not in a good mood. although it was soooooo nice to see her I wish i could see her more often.

I could go on and on about all of my friends and how much they all mean to me but ultimately they were and are a part of my family. Shirl picked lice from my hair. me and jenny and kevin have had so many adventures in the city. ryan and i got to toss vhs porno tapes at leah's head. safin and I went to countless sample sales. pete and i would dance to britney. jeff and i went on dangerous late night journeys for weed in the bronx. the list goes on and on.

all i know is that i've lived in a nice house, a shitty apartment and everything in between. I've had more money than I knew what to do with and been so broke i couldn't even take the subway. i've had good times and bad times. all sorts of jobs. within four years i graduated college, got married and had a kid. But although I live very far away from those who mean so much to me, and although it hurts my heart to see all of them hang out and have a good time when I wish i was there, i know that they haven't forgotten about me.

chris and collin both agree that none of their friends would say the nice things about me that you guys have. at the end of the day i know that all i have to do is think of a funny memory from college or an inside joke and it will still make me chuckle. i definitely have the bestest friends in the world! Thanks for an awesome birthday!

can i kick it Duchess style???

yoo are the wind beneath my wings.

i need to lose my gut. seriously. it's just getting disgusting. when i look down i feel like i am 3 months pregnant. that's where i really gain weight- the gut. i still wear the same size pants but my belly hangs over. i don't actually need to lose that many pounds but i need to get more healthy. I eat nachos about 3 times a week. I love healthy stuff and i really need more energy but it's just so much easier to throw cheese on chips and call it a meal.

i know that ann has been rockin' the duchess and has had a lot of success and that gives me hope. ann and i used to live very unhealthy lifestyles in college and i know that she's tried a billion diets over the years but she seems to really enjoy what she's been doing and she's even going to the gym and i'm very proud of her.

so should i do it too? should i give the Duchess a chance? because if i don't do something soon i'm going to have to start wearing Mom Jeans to cover the gut???

jack's bday

today was jack's second birthday. it wasn't super exciting but he got a few good gifts and we hung out and ate cookies and cupcakes. it's weird because as i write this he technically wasn't even born yet, 2 years ago. he was born about an hour from now. it's hard to believe that was 2 years ago and it's hard to imagine him as a little baby. especially because he now knows the phrase, "ok fuck." i know, that's great parenting.

the joy of cooking...with me

today i decided to be Suzy Homemaker and bake a butt load of cookies. there is a receipe in the book above that i love. they are vegan molasses cookies. they are so freakin good. i made 5 batches of them. i am bringing most of them to my work but i will be shovelling the rest into my mouth in an attempt to increase the size of my gut. because it's just not winter unless i'm binging on carbs.

oh pete, how do i love thee...

I know that ann already expressed her love for pete on this, the day of his birth, but i would like to put in my 2 cents.

I met pete within hours of being at college and loved him right away. we got drunk that night off of rum and diet coke and justin tried to hook up with sarah and i.
I've been in a car and/or hotel room with pete for a week straight when we went to vegas. I lived with him for basically all of college. we have laughed and cried together. he is the "witness" on my marriage certificate. he has flown all the way out to visit me. He and ann flew me all the way out there to visit them . we have so many inside jokes I can't even count them all. i don't talk to him as much as i would like but when we talk it's like i just saw him yesterday.

i wish i could've spent his birthday with him but someday we will have a giant scorpio party and it will be so amazing we will all get alcohol poisoning simultaneously.

say what?????

the lord has been too kind to me this month. First the brit news yesterday and now rumsfeld resigns.

Somebody pinch me. i hope this means that soon i'll get that pony i've wanted since i was 10.

jesus gave me my birthday present early

I cannot believe it!! I don't know what is better: that I no longer look more appealing than Britney Spears or that she is finally coming to her senses and ditching Kfed.

A year ago I swear i had a better body than Britters. But that shouldn't happen because she's a bigillionaire and I'm not and although we both like to pig out she can hire a personal trainer that will handcuff her to a treadmill for 2 hours while I just ruminate on the couch watching "Unwrapped."

She looks fantastic and I pray to all that is holy that her next album is good. I want it to be so slutty and pornographic and I want her to look even trashier than XTina in her assless chaps. I want her to come out and say that Kevin is a lazy ass pothead with B.O. who has absolutely zero talent.

Perhaps i shouldn't ask for too much just yet. I'll just savor this while I can.

this weather SUCKS!!!!

when we got up today Collin said that the way today's weather is it makes you feel like you were born dead. that pretty much sums it up. It's blowing freezing rain and I haven't seen the sun all day. It's 5 and it feels like midnight. Why did the Vikings settle here? They must've been crazy.

absenteeism

I know i haven't written anything in awhile. I'm sure that the 5 people that read this are just devastated by this.

Well the whole time I was in Arizona at my parents' house I couldn't get on to Blogger. I still don't know why but everytime I would log in it would boot me off the internet.

While I was gone my damned dog ran away but I went to the pound yesterday and he was there and I had to pay $80 to take him. It was worth it but the people made me feel all guilty about it. I wasn't even home when he got loose.

But now he is snuggling next to me on the couch.

So just a reminder, if you change your phone number make sure to change the tag on your pet's collar so that when they freak out and decide to run away the nice people at the pound can actually get in contact with out.