Death by the Dashboard Light

Something has been bothering me for months now, possibly even years. Just about once a day I see a car with some sort of tribute to someone who is dead. I seriously do not understand the thinking behind this.

Let's say your BFF dies. Do you really want to be reminded of that everytime you have to hop in your car to run to the video store or to get groceries.

If you lost a very close family member, do you really need some cheesy decal on your car to remind you that that person died? i doubt it.

The only time I would find this an acceptable practice would be if said person died from being hit by a drunk driver. I say this because if it explicitly made mention to the fact that "John was senselessly killed by a drunk driver" it might actually cause people to think twice before drinking and driving.

do you eventually take this off of your car? do you ever get to a point and think that you don't really want to look at that anymore and have to scrape that sucker off? Or do you feel too guilty to take it off even though you really want to?

All I know is that if I drown or die in a freak horseback riding accident, I sincerely hope that no one puts some dumb ass memorial on the back of their car with my name on it.

is this for real?

This weekend we went to the Strawberry Festival in my town, which is the highlight of the summer. For anyone who is unaware, i live in a tiny town. There were some vendor booths and one of them had two women who were doing tarot card readings. I have never had a real one before. The one that Ann did for me in Vegas doesn't count. It was kind of half-assed. Sorry Ann, I loved everything else in Happy Fun Bag, though.

The lady was nice and she touched on some very interesting things. She said that in 6 to 8 months there would be a big change with my job. This is kind of interesting because this is exactly when i should be getting my promotion. She said that I am better at my job than I think I am but that it doesn't make my soul happy. She said that I should be doing something with plants or flowers and/or education. She said that I am a nurturer.

Overall it was very interesting. I don't think it really reveals anything magical, i just think it shows you what you know in your heart.

Agita, or is it Ah-gita?

I have a serious problem. I am totally shitty to myself. I am my worst critic in the worst way. I know that most people can be really hard on themselves but I endup overanalylizing everything and then i get paranoid and then i get anxiety. I am so tired of doing this to myself. I think being in the world of retail has a lot to do with it. It is very cut-throat.

Collin always reminds me that if i sucked so bad I would've been fired with German and I wouldn't have got the kick-ass raise that I got. I just really get frustrated there a lot of the time and then I get stressed and end up working harder than i should.

Blargh, i know it's really stupid and i should just work past it or let it go but I don't know how. Maybe I'll ask Jebus for help. Nah.

papa's day

i hope that everyone had a nice father's day. I did. We went to the Strawberry Festival and had a nice breakfast at this country diner that's up the road. Collin made a good dinner and then i went to a meeting for work. all in all, nice and relaxing.

this is incredibly corny but i feel that it should be said: collin is the greatest dad in the history of dads. I know this because i've had two dads and I've had issues with both of them. I have also known a lot of people with crappy fathers, Collin included. The only reason that he ended up with his father is because his dad was ordered by the court to raise him, although he didn't want to. Collin is a true testament to the fact that you don't have to repeat the bad crap that your parents do/did.

Honestly, he's probably a better father than I am a mother. If fatherhood was something you could get paid for, he'd be a millionaire by now.

ok, i'll stop now.

Pobrecita Britney

I watched the Britney Spears interview last night and I would like to put in my two cents. First and foremost, for those of you who don't know, Britney is my one true guilty pleasure. Am I a genuine fan? No. Do I own her greatest hits album? Yes.

She talked about how she really doesn't care about how people perceive her when she's out and about. This is painfully obvious when you consider that most photos of her show her with a grown out weave and her thong sticking out the back of her ultra low rise jeans. However, it takes guts to be in the public eye like that and not primp and polish every inch of yourself before you step out of the house.

Britney's whole alleged purpose of the interview was to get the paparazzi to stop hounding her and how she feels scared for her and her family's safety. I won't even comment on whether or not I think she's being genuine, but I will say that I would be terrified if people were coming after me while I had Jack. I think that if someone was tailing my car and I had Jack inside I'd pull some vigilante justice and start a massacre. I don't think that this gives her free reign to drive home with her kid on her lap. She shrugs it off to being "country" which I guess is the equivalent to saying that you are functionally retarded.

I kind of feel bad for her in a way. Sure, she has a nicer house than I can ever dream of and she can do anything she wants, whenever she wants, but she seems tragically naive. She seemed to truly be unaware of the fact people have a deep disdain for KFed. She was chomping gum the whole time and she went on national TV looking like she hadn't brushed her hair in a week.

I just hope that her next album is a good one and that she get back to Ye Olde Brit and not the pre-Delta Burke, twangy, gum-chomping embarassment that she is now.

My legal herbs

On my days off this week I spent about $100 on herbs and pots, soil and gloves. I have decided to grow my own stuff now, because I am feeling in the mood to garden. Plus I love the way that it smells.

I bought sweet basil, thai basil, oregano, rosemary, lemon verbeena, kung pao chilies, jalepeno peppers, a tomato plant and i think there's something else that I'm just too tired to remember right now.

I can wait until they start to grow huge. I can never do the flowers. I've tried but then i forget about them. But when I'm growing something that i can eat, then you bet i will remember to water those suckers.

illin' like a villin'

Jack, Collin and I have been sick lately. Jack got the illness 3 days ago, Collin got it two days ago and I got it yesterday. Luckily the sickness only last about 24 hours. It's a totally heinous stomach flu and let's just say that if you don't purposefully vomit it will come out another hole. I, unfortunately, absolutely refuse to make myself puke. I'm a bulemic's worst nightmare.

I had a fever and I was having crazy nightmares and I seriously wanted to die.

I am glad that I am almost over this illness. The worst part is that everyone at my work is getting it now too. This thing is so contagious I feel like I'm conducting a science experiment.

All I know is that if the bird flu hits I will be dead within 48 hours.

Religious PapSmear

In my earlier post I mentioned how I went to the doc today. It was the first time there so I had to fill out that sheet that tells about family history of medical conditions and whatnot. Everything was going along like usual until i got to the bottom of the page. Then I had to do a "WTF?!?" There were four questions at the bottom, and here they are:

Do you believe in God?
Do you pray?
Do you have questions about your faith?
What faith are you?

How does this pertain to medicine???

And how can I explain my feelings about God and faith on a two inch line?

I got paranoid and started looking around to see if there were crosses on the walls or anything. Everything looked normal so I don't know what it was all about. But it freaked the hell out of me.

American Medical Dilemma

I went to the doctor today (nothing serious, just a "lady" visit) and I was very disturbed. As I was walking in I noticed a pharma rep walking in right behind me. It made me a bit perturbed but then I just shrugged my shoulders and went inside.

However, when I went in I noticed another pharma rep walking out. At the end of my appointment I saw two more in there, one in the waiting room and another coming out of the back. Then as I was walking to my car, two more dudes were getting out of their car in going inside.

Now I'm not gonna get all Tom Cruisey and say that I think there is no place for Rx drugs. But I don't think they should be handed out like candy either. I have a friend from Canada who told me that they try everything else first before pills. Probably because everyone has healthcare up there and private docs don't stand to profit as much from it.

I was really creeped out. And I was pissed.

Just a few days ago I called my insurance to find out I could go to a naturopath instead of a regular doc. They won't cover it. So I called the naturopath that I wanted to go to and they said that one visit would cost $230. I certainly can't afford that. It pains me to pay the $20 copay at the regular doc. Aetna said it doesn't consider a naturopath a "real doctor."

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.