Writer's block...sorta

I never have a shortage of things to say (we all know this). But sometimes I get home and then I just don't feel like bothering to write about it. Call it laziness or the feeling like few people will actually be reading it, I don't know. Anyhow, here's something that happened to me yesterday that can fully summarize my lame/embarrassing factor.

I bought some new jeans at work on Thursday. I had the day off yesterday and wore them while out running errands. A woman comes up to me in the grocery store to tell me that the size sticker is still on the back of the leg. I blush, thank her, remove it and continue shopping. Then about a minute later a guy comes up and tells me that I had a sticker on my leg. I politely let him know that another woman already informed me and that I had just removed it. Two very kind people, indeed, but it felt like the second guy just had to rub it in. Like I didn't know already that i'm socially awkward and a total dork.

Holiday...Far Away

Today I had the day off and it was beautiful out. My friend called and we went to a small lake near here. Jack and her son played in the water and we hung out and talked. It was so nice. I haven't had an eventful day off in quite some time. Usually I just run errands or lay around the house. Now i need to do mom things, like laundry and dishes. Sigh...

Fly Holocaust

Recently I've had a fly problem in my house. Mind you, my house is very clean, I clean several times a week and I don't do anything gross like leave food or soda cans out. Somehow one or two flies have come into the house and now they have multiplied by the hundreds. It's completely nasty and freaky.

Chris and Jack have been going around "fly hunting" but it's just not killing them fast enough. I don't know where or how they are breeding. I can't find the source. But soon I will be fly free. I went out and got 8 glue paper traps today and placed them strategically in the house. I will leave them up until they are completely filled with flies.

So far they've only been up for about 5 minutes and there are already about 5 flies that have succumb to the power of glue. I'm so excited to destroy entire families of flies. I'm bloodthirsty and will not stop until every last fly has perished.

Wish me luck.

Pirates and Porn

Last night my boss and I, and other assorted losers that we are friends with, went to the first showing of Pirates 3. We were all dressed up (pics are on my Myspace page) and we had a good time.

However when Josh (Amanda's boyfriend) went to take a pic of us he gave me a weird look as he held my camera. He was staring at the screen on the back. I couldn't figure out what the problem was until he turned the camera around.

I had the camera on playback mode and the pic on the screen was a naughty one (I'll leave it at that). I was a wee bit embarrassed but it could've been a lot worse. The pic he saw was pretty mild.

So let that be a lesson to you: if you have nekkid photos on your camera, be more careful when you are letting others use it!

Ajuma part deux

If you read Ann's Blog then you know about her "Ajuma" post. Ever since then I've been paying special attention while at work and I've realized that these women are a large portion of the overall Asian population that frequents our store.

In fact, the day after her post I saw a woman with short, permed hair. She had on a really old Burberry zip up track jacket thing with plain, navy blue sweatpants and then she had on nude stockings and dressy, heeled loafer-style shoes. Such a very odd fashion combination. Then yesterday there was one with a visor on. I just had to chuckle to myself.

So congrats to Ann on enlightening me and giving me a way to categorize these people.

Oh you, you can always get a reservation.

I wish I had more time because I could make this a long one, but alas it will be short and sweet. I also don't want to make Kevin all weepy and shit.

Tomorrow, as all of you know, is his birthday. He's so old now that I've lost track of how old he will actually be. I just want to say that Kevin is most certainly one of my best friends. Although I haven't seen him in far too long, I know he's always there if I need to bitch about something or to just laugh my ass off.

I met Kevin in college and have spent way too many hours potato chipping and fondling the remote control with him. He participated in mine and Jenny's Behind the Summer where we dined on 40s and sticks of butter.

I've traveled all over with Kevin and I've actually had sex with him in 6 countries. (Kind of a weird, and yet interesting, fact.) We've been to Vegas, England, Ireland, Amsterdam, Paris, Berlin and Prague together. And we laughed for about 90% of the time on all of those trips. And we were intoxicated 100% of the time on all of those trips.

Kevin is dear to my heart and I miss him constantly.

I hope you have a kick ass birthday and I hope that you get everything you've ever wanted. I've heard that Ann might just get you a dead hooker this year! I wish I could be there to celebrate with you.

Love, Erika

"May I Speak to Your Manager?"

Now that I am a manager I kinda love hearing this. Part of me hates it because it almost certainly means that I will have to deal with some asshole. (There was actually one time a lady wanted to tell me that one of my girls was awesome and very helpful. I was elated).

A couple of days ago these Korean missionary women were in my store and were trying to get Tax Exemption on their purchase. I was near the cashier so I was explaining to them that our company specifies that we don't give tax exemption for missionaries, even though they had a tax exempt card. This is totally true, we don't honor tax exemption for missionaries. They didn't speak English well and were trying to argue with me that other stores in the mall did it for them. I calmly explained that we weren't the same as some of the other stores and that we couldn't do it. And then she said it. She wanted to speak to the manager.

Well guess what bitch....it's ME!!!!! Muahhahahahahaha.

I love it.

And guess who had to pay tax? Maybe God can reimburse them since they are working for him.

Vagina Out of Commission

I have the dreaded UTI. Back in college Ann and I would pronounce this as "You-tee." I went to the doc today and got some antibiotics and i've been drinking water all day. I'm not in that much pain anymore, nor do i have to pee constantly but it's still frustrating. I haven't had one since high school.

I took the day off of work and Jack was at his nanny's house so I went down and picked up my computer at the Apple store (the hard drive died) and got Jamba Juice and then i drove home and took a long-ass nap. It was so relaxing.

I'm going to go to bed early tonight. I need to get up early because our District Manager is coming tomorrow to give me my annual review so i think I will be finding out how much I will be getting as my raise.

the smell of fish had nothing to do with the fact that my legs were open

Today was awesome. I know that I was bitchin' this morning about having nothing to do but I decided to get off my ass and be a good parent. I put Jack in the car and we went to the Aquarium. I had never been there before but it was really cool. We even got to see them feed an octopus.

Then we went to Pike Place Market because it's right across the street. Even though that place is a tourist trap they have lots of cool stuff and on the weekdays it's not so crowded. We got fresh raspberries and then we bought mini donuts from a guy that looked like the poor-man's Johnny Depp. He even gave us 3 free ones while we were sitting there eating the ones that we bought.

After that we walked down from the donut man and got a fresh tofu corn dog. It was good and greasy. Jack actually ate most of it. We went over to a spot where you can sit at look at the water and ate the corn dog and I took some pictures.

When we left, the parking garage attendant gave us a discount, which he didn't have to do, but it was very appreciated.

We drove home and Jack took a really long nap while I got to just relax. And I got the house clean. Ahhhh....cleanliness really is next to godliness. Right, Ann?

No Sleep Till Brooklyn...

...or until they move out. I have the day off and I want nothing more than to be lazy and catch up on sleep but Jack needs to be constantly entertained. Plus he's making a royal mess and I need to clean up. Yuck, I'm sick of cleaning.

I need to hop in the shower so that we can go to the library. I enjoy the library but it makes me think of all the books I should be reading but I'm just to tired to do that after a long day of refolding shit.

Maybe I'll take a nap when Jack does this afternoon, that sounds like heaven. Right now I'm going to chug some black coffee and think back to when a "day off" really meant a day off.

Back on this Horse

I am back in full blogging swing. Things have obviously been a bit cragy for me these past few months. I've mostly been trying to just work, take care of Jack, and keep this damn house clean. Just a note to all of you future parents out there: when you have a 2 year old, cleanliness is an uphill battle everyday. As I speak he is spitting out fruit snacks onto the coffee table because he thinks it's funny.

So, to anyone who still even bothers to look at my blog, there will be new posts on a regular basis.

oddities at work

Yesterday this white guy came into my work with a long leather jacket on, a moustache and a full-on Jheri Curl. He was really weird and said he was a bouncer. He creeped us out and then my boss started singing "Soul Glo" to me and we died laughing.

Here's what it says in the Urban Dictionary for Jheri Curl:

Named after hair products of Jheri Redding. A perm that loosens the curls of a black person's hair. Typically seen in Michael Jackson impersonators and pimp stereotypes. I touched his Jheri curl and couldn't get my hand clean for a week.

Good times at ol' CK.

new beginnings...and endings

ok folks, here goes.

In case you didn't know already...Collin is living in Florida now and we are getting divorced soon. Kind of a weird story but I'm with Chris (yes, my roommate) and everything is pretty much ok.

In other news, my bro just got married last weekend. It was very nice and he will be having a baby in July.

Sorry for not posting in a while. my computer was effed up for a long time but I got it fixed today.

Feel free to email me if you want more details.