A Pirate's Life for Me....HUZZAHHHHH!

My boss and I went to the Ren Faire in Gig Harbor yesterday. I was excited to go because I never get to do anything fun anymore. I always spend my days off on my couch or running errands. She let me borrow some of her garb and we drove over early to spend a day melting in the hot sun, drinking, singing, sweating, and acting like an ass.

At the faires she goes by the name of Commodore Fox and she has many ships in her fleet. The one that I am now quarter master of is the Black Widow; and now my name is Keel Haul Kate. I was a bit wary of hanging out with Rennies all day but it ended up being so much fun. If I ever got into it I don't know if I would want to be a pirate, maybe a wench or something. Or a crazy old fortune teller type woman or something. Amanda also has another persona where she plays a barbarian. She goes all out with her garb though. She spares no expense and we were the best dressed pirates at the faire.


That's a real dagger in my corset.

We walked in at about 11 and did the rounds before heading off to the pub. Amanda was not only my designated driver but also bought all the booze and it was great. I got two pints of stout and had some mead and some Cuban Rum that Amanda snuck in. We met this group of crazy lesbians who adored us and kept taking our pictures. One of them went by the name of Mistess Mary and she was a professional dominatrix and claimed she has a dungeon.

While in the pub Captain Splinter and his crew stormed in a put on this funny ass show where they sang all of these hilarious pirate songs. He told me I had nice teeth and therefore couldn't be a true pirate. We were playing this drinking game called Buffalo where you can only hold your drink in your left hand. He busted me and I had to drink a whole cup of mead.



Amanda informed me that the one thing that really makes her blood boil is seeing people wearing wings at the faire. There were many a "goth faeiry" and let me tell you something: those girls are either very underweight or very overweight, there is no inbetween.

An old man told us that he would hang us for trying to charge a toll on his bridge and then we made some rude comment back to him about being "well hung." We tried to steal some favors from the royal women who were left alone in their camp and we ended the day chatting with 3 Barbarians who were very drunk and we made them "Step and Fetch" us all sorts of things.



In the end I only ate some fries and coleslaw because there were no Tofurky legs. I was pretty starved so Amanda and I stopped at Taco Time on the way home and pigged out. It was fun and I must say I will have to go back with her next year. And Ann- it was not easy to pee with all of that stuff on, especially in a portapotty. Did you know they had portapotties in Medeival times? And shaved ice, and corn dogs...at the corn doggery!